Over the last couple of months, I have gotten very uncomfortable in my own skin. And my pants. I am gaining weight like crazy and it’s making me feel absolutely horrible. Last weekend I ended up spending a couple hundred bucks on new clothes because I can’t button buttons anymore. I want to say the weight gain started as a result of not sleeping at night. Last year at this time, I was getting up at 5 a.m. and working out for an hour in my basement. Those days are so over, because I find it physically impossible to get up at 5am because I don’t fucking sleep. So, vicious circle, don’t exercise because I can’t sleep, and I can’t sleep because I don’t exercise. It’s NOT FAIR!! Anyway, when I had Ryleigh 7 years ago, I had a really hard time losing the last 20 pounds (I gained way too much weight). So, I heard about a clinic in town that does a program that includes weekly vitamin B6/B12/HCG injections, monthly visits with a nutritionist, and if your BMI dictates, and if you choose, you can also be given a prescription for an appetite suppressant. It was highly motivating for me, I lost all the weight, and then some. I reached my goal and I was in the best shape of my life. I joined a gym, I got to the point where I could walk around in a freaking bikini and feel totally hot, I felt so good. This lasted for several years. I kept the weight off, only fluctuating about 10 pounds or so from year to year, until this year. So, I went back at the clinic last night, and I feel really motivated to make a change. Not just in my eating habits (which frankly, aren’t the problem), but in other habits.. the worst being I LIKE TO DRINK WHEN I COOK. This is going to be the big challenge for me, because me thinks this may be a huge part of the weight gain. I wasn’t going to get into bad habits here (it’s so damn personal), but I feel like if I say it out loud it makes it more real. The reality of it is, no more drinking wine, or gin n coke every time I throw a frying pan on the stove.
That being said, the detox phase lasts anywhere from 3 to 17 days, it’s up to me. It’s not the worst thing in the world, it’s lots of lean protein and raw veggies; lots of water of course, and 2 oranges a day. I can do this part.. this is easy. It’s shifting my way of thinking about food, and about my health that is going to be the challenge. But since I’ve done it before and was super successful the first time around, I feel confident I can do it again, and this time stick with it for life. I’m going back to the clinic on Monday to go over the results of the body test they gave me on Friday. I know I’ll qualify for the appetite suppressant drugs.. BRING IT ON! And I’ll see how the next few days of detox go and decide after Monday if I want to keep going or not. Tonight I made a spinach salad with some purple onion and mini sweet peppers, and flounder fillets with fresh garlic and ginger. AND NO WINE, AND NO GIN AND NO VODKA. It was still pretty good…
