What's NOT for dinner.. Among other things

Meatloaf, meatloaf, double beatloaf… I love meatloaf!

candacelydia — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 04:28:20 +0000

Who the hell doesn’t love meatloaf? I’ll admit, I was a vegetarian for about 5 years in my 20′s. It all started with a Dateline NBC “undercover” investigation of slaughter houses in the midwest. It seriously fucked me up for years. I refused to eat meat for 5 years. I got over it when I met Jason though, partly because he was a single dad (with little if any cooking skills), trying to feed his kids with whatever resources were available to him. The fact that I had no kids, and was used to cooking really good vegetarian food for myself, presented a bit of a cunundrum. Long story short, it all worked out as I came back to the dark side with my carniverous instincts, and everyone was happy. It’s all come full-circle now, and of course no one appreciates my cooking until they no longer have it. I’ve come to accept it, and really, nowdays I cook more for myself and for the experience than anything else. There, I said it. Truth be known..

Last Thursday I had surgery on my sinuses again. Not nearly as invasive as it was last year.. That time my doc corrected a deviated septum, and blah, blah, blah, four hours later he was done. This time, it was less than an hour, and BAM! Done. Easy recovery, it was recommended I take a week or so off to recover, and needless to say I feel like a million bucks, and I’m ready to go back on Thursday. In the meantime, I’ve proven myself once again, a kick-ass SAHM. I already know I’m good at this; it’s just a matter of convincing my other half that we can survive as a one-income family. Or perhaps it’s me convincing myself that that’s how I want to live. I don’t know. I know if it came down to it, we could make it, but do I really want that? I don’t think so.

Anyway, last night I made a KICK ASS meatloaf with some ground buffalo that Jason’s friend had given us with the freezer we bought from him. At first I had no idea what to do with it, but as of late Ryleigh has reminded me that she’s a big fan of meatloaf. So, meatloaf it was. I love it, but I refuse to make your average everyday meatloaf. Knowing that buffalo is lean, I decided to add some Colissomo’s hot italian sausage to the mix, along with sauteed onions and garlic, fresh parsley, sour cream, eggs, parmisano reggiano, bread crumbs, and some great spices. If you’d like the recipe, I’d be more than happy to give it to you as this was by far the best meatloaf I’ve ever had (or made), if I may say so myself. I made this along with a greek potato salad which also kicked ass, but it was all foreshadowed by some major fucking drama brought along by the boy teenager. Needless to say, the meal was ruined by all accounts, and well, what do you do? It was salvaged tonight though, by cold meatloaf sandwiches on toasted whole wheat pita bread (really the best choice because it stays crunchy on the outside, and deliciously tender on the inside), and a spring salad with tomatoes, purple onion, and cannelinni beans. Check it out for yourself. I have to say it was one of the best meals I’ve made in a long ass time:

I’m typing this with my left hand..

candacelydia — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 05:26:00 +0000

I’m typing this with my left hand only because I burned the shit out of my right hand while cooking and need to keep it on a box of frozen spinach (actually am rotating between spinach and peas) Just an fyi in case I fuck it up real bad..

Sheesh! It’s been so long since I’ve blogged, I may have forgotten how. I will give it a shot anyway, because I have a lot on my mind lately. I am totally full of mixed emotions today. Last night I attended my first ever protest rally.. for something that I feel so strongly about; and not only because it hits so close to home, it is also, and more importantly, a matter of human rights and equality. If you don’t know know me, I come from a large family; I have five brothers and one sister. We were raised Mormon, come from a broken home (not special, I know), and two of my brothers are gay. That being said, this issue hits very close to home for me. It’s hard for me to accept a world that denies them the same rights that I have. They pay taxes like I do, they are law abiding citizens like I am, they hold jobs and care for their parents, and care for pets, and care for children if, and when they are able to, just like any other couple who is afforded the right to do so. This debate runs deep, and it’s something that I can’t and will never understand. There is no debate here. If you are affiliated with a religion that believes that it is wrong, and a sin to love someone of the same gender, you ought to re-examine: a) YOUR SENSIBILITY , b) YOUR SENSE OF HUMANITY, and c) YOUR FAITH.

Religion played no part in my marraige, because THAT WAS OUR CHOICE. If the Mormon church or the Catholic church, or the Baptist church tells their followers that gay marriage is wrong, than so be it. If you truly believe in, and adhere to the beliefs of that particular faith, and you go against those teachings, than yes, I suppose you are subject to the perceived persecution and judgement according to the teachings of said religion. But even that is a very subjective matter. My point being, if you do not belong to, believe in, or otherwise adhere to said religion, than what you do is your business AND NO ONE ELSES. So please, PLEASE someone explain to me how my brother or my sisters equality affects your marraige. If it does, that tells me you have A LOT of problems of your own that you should sort out with a therapist. Or you should get a divorce. But wait, getting a divorce, really, is destroying the “sanctity of marraige”. So, I’m considering a movement that involves banning divorce and jailing anyone and everyone who commits adultery or anything else that is subject to sueing a partner for divorce. Sound good? Let’s go for it.

On the subject of cooking (which will always remain my favorite subject, and the least controversial), I cooked a real kick-ass dinner tonight.. Gorgonzola-stuffed chicken breasts with a balsamic reduction and sauteed kale with bacon and mustard. Burning the living shit out of my hand while getting the chicken out of the oven really took the air out of my sails; mostly because Jas had to cut my chicken for me since my right hand is incopasitated. I will definitely post a picture of it because it was lovely, but right now I’m lucky just to post…

Last night’s dinner…

Comfort food anyone?

candacelydia — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 14:57:35 +0000

I love fall. I love it like I love the beginning, and up to the middle of every season. Fall mornings start off chilly, the days still feel a little like summer, and the nights are back to being a tad chilly. Every season has their benefits, and their downfalls. Now don’t get me wrong, but the downfall for me, for fall, is the fact that it’s the beginning of comfort food season. And comfort food to me, is not the most waistline-friendly type of food for someone who is trying to lose weight. When I was a kid, dinner was totally predictable. Monday, Spaghetti; Tuesday, Tacos; Wednesday, soup; Thursday, Shepherds Pie, (you get the idea). I always loved Spaghetti and taco night, but hated soup night. My point is, dinner was not exciting to me. And I don’t blame my mother, now that I look back, we were truly lucky to have a home cooked meal every night of the week. We never went out, and we never had pizza delivered to our house. To be honest, I only remember our whole family going out to dinner one night. My parents were in the beginning stages of getting divorced (we didn’t know this at the time, but life was not pleasant). We were in Heber, UT of all places, and for whatever reason, my parents took us all to Pizza Hut. At the time, there were six kids. Oi Vey! I remember it being an extremely uncomfortable night, and one that I most likely will always remember. Perhaps this is the reason I hate cheap pizza, and I will not drive to, nor sit at a pizza “restaurant”. Long story short, I moved out at the ripe old age of 17. I learned a lot in a very short amount of time.. one of those things I learned, and to me one of the most important things I learned, was about food. Food from other countries, food made from exotic ingredients, food that I had never had before. It was like a whole new world opened up to me, and I embraced the hell out of it. I still do, and I always will.

As a result of my love for food, my kids either suffer or benefit from it. If you were to ask them, they would probably tell you that they suffer, because I cook most nights of the week, and we rarely go out because I can’t handle the disappointment. Too bad suckas!! Anyway, tonight, I made Shepherds Pie. My oldest daughter Brittanie loves Shepherds Pie. But she loves it because my mom lived with us for a short time, and apparently Brittanie adored my mom’s version of Shepherds Pie. She has asked me to make it before, and I’ve obliged, but she tells me that mine “doesn’t taste like Grandma’s”. Hmmmm. Perhaps that’s why I don’t make it. No offense to my mom, but she didn’t have the pleasure of tasting food that was out of her comfort zone, so when she cooked, she cooked what she knew. Can’t blame her for that. As for me, I put my own twist on EVERYTHING. I try to follow recipes line for line, ingredient for ingredient, but I CAN’T DO IT. Tonight, my version of Shepherds Pie consisted of super lean hamburger, the obligatory canned green beans, tomatoes, garlic, onions, and the addition of toasted pine nuts and cinnamon. And of course, instant garlic mashed potatoes *cringe*, with sharp cheddar cheese on top. But can I tell you? It was divine. I didn’t take a picture, because I don’t care how good your Shepherds Pie is, it really doesn’t photograph well. So, please, tell me YOUR favorite comfort food, and I will come up with my own recipe to butcher the shit out of it!!!

One more thing, in the spirit of the election season, I have been tagged in a video related to the election. Shocked the hell out of me! Please have a look:
I ruined America

Tag I’m it! (a little late, but nonetheless)

candacelydia — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 04:20:53 +0000

I was tagged by Bunnie to post the 4th picture from my 4th folder in my picture gallery. I love this little game and when I figure out how to tag someone else, I sure as hell am going to do it. Here’s my picture, and I love the story behind it:

My niece Lexi was visiting this summer from Michigan, and the night this photo was taken I had thrown a little dinner party at my house in her honor. Earlier that day, I had picked some very pathetic tomatoes from my garden (mind you this was 7/19/08, so it was a tad early for tomato harvesting). These were like tadpoles that should have been sent back to whence they came from, but yeah, since they were ripe, well, I had to keep em. If you look at them closely, they’re in the shape of miniature pumpkins, so what better to do with them than draw faces on them and humiliate them even more! And, to top things off, Lexi decided we ought to put a breath mint next to them, just so you get the full gist of the size of these stupid-ass teeny tomatoes, which were just about all I got this summer

Food Porn

candacelydia — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 03:16:03 +0000

Tonight I made a stir-fry of sorts, which I love to do because I can be very creative, and a stir-fry can actually be healthy if you do it right. Anyhow, I found this recipe that calls for Top Ramen noodles to go in the dish, and normally that wouldn’t appeal to me, but for whatever reason, when I saw the picture I thought it would be a good idea. It also called for pork loin, which now that I mention it, is probably what sold me on the recipe in the first place, because who doesn’t love a good pork loin? Hmmm? Anyway, I julienned the carrots, sliced the red peppers, and chopped the green onions. Then came the pork loin. No biggie, I cut the top of the package, started to squeeze it out, and OH MY, here’s what I saw:

So maybe I’m a total pervert, but OH MY GOD, I couldn’t help but laugh my ass off, and of course take a picture. I had to show Jason, I could hardly contain my inner 13-year-old self, and he seriously looked at me like “What the fuck is your problem?” I still laughed at the picture (although it was a tad awkward at this point) asking, or maybe TELLING HIM, this is FUNNY SHIT!!!

Anyway, I’m still proud of my pork loin porn photo. It makes me laugh, and I hope you find it funny too, because the hubs was simply not amused. My stir-fry turned out pretty damn good, I took a picture of what the poor pork loin penis stir-fry masterpiece turned out to be:

I suck. Well, not literally. Well, sometimes.

candacelydia — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 03:17:48 +0000

Wow, I am really and truly slacking in the bloggie department. I started this blog as a means to brag about and show off the stuff I feed myself and my family on a nearly daily basis, hence the title “What’s for dinner” (temporarily What’s NOT for dinner). I felt this need to do so because Mormon Jesus knows that they sure as hell don’t brag about it, so someone’s gotta do it. The “Among other things” part, naturally is my opportunity to ~~bitch~~ talk about anything else that comes up, and is my out when I don’t have dinner to talk about. So bear with me as I may not be talking food so much until I lose some more weight and figure out a way to make everyone semi-happy. Speaking of losing weight, I went to the fat doc today and I have lost 10 pounds in 4 weeks. Yay me! Here is what my daytime food consumption looks like. Trust me, it could be worse:

So maybe I have a case of ~~paranoid schizophrenia~~ the jitters, but it seems as though I’m still unhappily, but gratefully, employed. Whew. Which is not to say I’m out of the woods, because I’m not and I know that, but for now, for right this minute I still have a job. Oh, and my boss even sent me an instant message the other day (after no contact, NO CONTACT, since 8/28/08), asking if I was going to join a conference call. I immediately messaged him back saying I didn’t have the phone number or the code for the call, and could he could provide it. I got no answer. Nice, huh? Let me just say that I feel like I’m totally on the edge, but for now I will stay there, dangling like a baby about to be dropped from a balcony.

Fear and loathing in SLC

candacelydia — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 17:44:19 +0000

What I’m about to say definitely falls under “Among other things”, so bear with me. As I sit here at my laptop, I find myself clenching my teeth even though my temples already hurt from too much teeth clenching over the last few days. I try to be conscious of this, but since I have the attention span of a 3-year-old, I quickly forget to stop doing it, and well, I drive myself mad by this silly behavior. I am in total panic mode over losing my job. I’ve never lost a job before; I’ve always left on my own volition. I’ve survived layoffs and firings, I’ve survived office politics, of which I try stay out of but there are people who manage to involve you in shit you have done your best to stay out of. I’ve survived being outsourced, after being with the same company for eleven years. And now I believe that the goings on in the market last week have put an end to this long run of good fortune. This isn’t good for a control freak such as myself. Bad timing too, because I weaned myself off of my meds and am feeling weird and vulnerable anyway, so this uncertainty couldn’t come at a worse time. I realize there are worse things in the world than losing a job, and in the back of my mind I know that it’ll be a blessing in disguise given the fact that I do not love my job by any stretch of the imagination. I’m already sketching out plans in my little brain of what I’ll do with my time off. So if I know losing my job will ultimately be a good thing, why am I so fucking freaked out over it? Oh, yeah, because I’m a control freak with no control over this. The worst part is, I have to go to what I consider trustworthy news sources to find out what my employer (for fear of being Dooced, I’ll say it’s a financial firm that rhymes with Fork-and-Manly) is scheming to either save the business, lose the business, or merge with a firm who isn’t going belly up. In fact, I was supposed to work today, but was advised on Friday that the project I have been working on the last three Sunday’s has been canceled. This is what put me into full panic mode. Tomorrow should be interesting……..

So to take my mind off of this nonsense, last night I decided I wanted Indian food regardless of whether or not it fits into my new food deal. I adore Indian food, and I’ve been cooking it for a long time. So over the years I have purchased serving dishes similar to what they use in the Indian food restaurants, you know, so that I can pretend I’m the head chef. Oh shit, did I just say that out loud? You know you all pretend to be a chef or pretend that you have your own cooking show. Don’t tell me you don’t. And if you really don’t do that, you should try it. It’s fun. But make sure you get those you’re cooking for to call you “chef”. It really helps get you in the groove. Here’s what I came up with, please notice the silver bowl for the rice; it’s one of my favorite finds. Also, please note the authenticity of the rice. Saffron threads, whole cumin seeds and peas. The real deal! Only I didn’t toast the cumin seeds before hand. Oh, and I should have served a mango lassi or Taj Mahal beer, but a glass (or three) of Shiraz worked just as well.

Indian food = peace

Changin’ it up, for now.

candacelydia — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 04:45:49 +0000

First of all, note to self: Start carrying around a notebook so that you don’t forget the 500 things that go through your mind in a day that you’d like to blog about. But don’t blog about them all, pick and choose, else you’ll bore the nice people who actually take the time to read what you have to say.

AND, please, if you haven’t already, please see this for the most amazing thing anyone has ever said and/or written about me to my knowledge. This is a true story, don’t be surprised if you see this on the Lifetime channel one day. I don’t think I can or should elaborate because she says it best. But I am forever grateful to this woman, who ~~bullied~~ talked me into blogging after finding me on the webs after being out of touch for 19 or so years. I love you Bunnie, and without you none of this would have happened! You truly are the Goddess of Social Media and old friend and great blog hooker-upper! (not a hooker, please don’t misread this).

Now that that’s out of the way, you may or may not have noticed I changed the Title of my blog, from What’s for dinner, to what’s NOT for dinner. Drastic, I know! The thing is, this new ~~diet~~ food agenda, has put me in a bit of a stump as far as cooking for the family, but only temporarily I guarantee you. Lately I have been uninspired to cook, partially because I’m re-training myself to eat the way that benefits me and my desired weight, and partially because 90% of what I cook, or want to cook, is not appreciated by anyone except for me and the hubs. And even that is debatable. The kids? They would eat a ground shit burger with toe jam sauce and be content. As hard as I try, and want them to eat well, and learn about what good food really is, they don’t want to know. Especially from me, and yes, that is another story for a therapist and yes, I’m looking for one right this minute.

Oh, and for the “Among other things” segment of my blog, I’d like to report that thanks in large part to the deregulation of the greedy sons of bitches on Wall Street and the banking industry in general, one of my 401K’s has dropped oh, a good 50% now in the last few month. 23% just yesterday. I understand the consequences of investing, both positive and negative. But now I fully understand the consequences of investing in a market that has been deregulated by our government. No different than handing a kid a 5 dollar bill and saying, “Here you go, run in there, it’s all yours, no one’s watching, and later, if you get caught, someone else will take the fall.” I’m no good at analogy’s but you get my drift. Work has been scary to say the least. Shit, they bought me lunch today for the first time in I don’t know how long. Perhaps to soften the blow. I don’t really know.

Alright, the good news is, I’ve lost 8 pounds. 8 pounds! The strange thing is, I don’t feel it, I don’t look 8 pounds thinner, but mentally I feel 8 pounds lighter. AND, I found my Treadclimber with a story (see previous post if you have no idea wtf I’m talking about), but I was too chicken shit to find out the juicy details behind my new toy. “Jen”, who was the seller of this magnificent sweat machine, was so nice, told me that she was getting rid of it because she was going through a divorce and was living in an apartment and had no room for it. Jason and I met her at her grandparents house where she was storing it, and God damn if she wasn’t the nicest (and skinniest) woman I’ve met in a long time (and I’m pretty sure she was my age or close to it!)

So here’s to Bunnie and Amy and Jen, and my new Treadclimber, and to finding new ways to cook stuff I love to cook! (Take a shot of your favorite beverage, please)

Reflecting, losing weight, and advice. Need some.

candacelydia — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 03:55:58 +0000

On September 11th, 2001, my daughter turned two months old. I was on maternity leave, loving being a mom, but still scared to death about it. I was still coming to terms with the fact that I was responsible for the life of this little human being. I was breast feeding her when I turned on the TV and watched the unbelievable events unfold, and suddenly I was unable to feed her, at least from my body. As if I wasn’t feeling scared enough about keeping this baby alive, I asked myself “What kind of world have I brought her into?” All the crazy thoughts that go along with being a mother for the first time intermingled with this national disaster, of which we knew nothing about yet, was extremely hard for me to reconcile. I got my sister on the phone, we conferenced in my mom, and talked and cried while we watched the 2nd plane hit. I called work to see if anyone from my office was visiting HQ at the time (our HQ was at the WTC), and sure enough there were two colleagues there, but thankfully both escaped unharmed. The days that followed were surreal. I live near a small airport, and was used to hearing small planes overhead, all the time. The silence became awkward and scary almost. And then I remember when they were allowed to fly again, I felt nervous and sick to my stomach when I saw the commercial planes start their descent. A feeling that I have yet to shake. In 2004, I went to New York on business and had a chance to see Ground Zero. I never had the fortune of seeing the towers in person, but NOT seeing them there, and seeing some nearby buildings that were still damaged and being repaired was something I will never forget. I will never forget any of it. I can’t imagine that any of us ever will.

On a lighter note, I quit the detox phase of my weight-loss plan on Monday. I only lasted the three required days, and at that, I barely made it!! I said that was the easy part, didn’t I? Yep, I did, my last post said “easy”. WTF? It was easy four years ago. It was not easy this time around. I started on Saturday and ended up with a huge headache Monday night. And I was so extremely irritable, I would have felt better if someone poured jalapeno juice in my eyeballs. I don’t know what caused it.. I imagine it was carb withdrawal because I ate plenty o’ food. I feel really good so far, and as of today I’ve lost 5 of the 17 total I want to take off. Yay! Need to step up the exercise routine.. Wii fit isn’t quite cutting it, so I’m going to look for a Tread Climber.. those fuckers are expensive, so I’m going to check Craig’s List and KSL.com for some poor schmuck who paid full price and now needs to get rid of it because his wife left him for another woman. Or something like that. A used Tread Climber with a story, that’s what I want.

And last but not least, I need some advice about Commenting. I’m new to this (duh, as if it isn’t obvious), and I want to know if it’s proper etiquette that I comment on the comments people leave on my blog. I love comments, I LIVE for comments, and I notice that a lot of bloggers comment on comments and I wonder if I should be doing so as well. I’m happy either way. I just want to know.

Detoxing feels good, sorta

candacelydia — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 03:12:46 +0000

Over the last couple of months, I have gotten very uncomfortable in my own skin. And my pants. I am gaining weight like crazy and it’s making me feel absolutely horrible. Last weekend I ended up spending a couple hundred bucks on new clothes because I can’t button buttons anymore. I want to say the weight gain started as a result of not sleeping at night. Last year at this time, I was getting up at 5 a.m. and working out for an hour in my basement. Those days are so over, because I find it physically impossible to get up at 5am because I don’t fucking sleep. So, vicious circle, don’t exercise because I can’t sleep, and I can’t sleep because I don’t exercise. It’s NOT FAIR!! Anyway, when I had Ryleigh 7 years ago, I had a really hard time losing the last 20 pounds (I gained way too much weight). So, I heard about a clinic in town that does a program that includes weekly vitamin B6/B12/HCG injections, monthly visits with a nutritionist, and if your BMI dictates, and if you choose, you can also be given a prescription for an appetite suppressant. It was highly motivating for me, I lost all the weight, and then some. I reached my goal and I was in the best shape of my life. I joined a gym, I got to the point where I could walk around in a freaking bikini and feel totally hot, I felt so good. This lasted for several years. I kept the weight off, only fluctuating about 10 pounds or so from year to year, until this year. So, I went back at the clinic last night, and I feel really motivated to make a change. Not just in my eating habits (which frankly, aren’t the problem), but in other habits.. the worst being I LIKE TO DRINK WHEN I COOK. This is going to be the big challenge for me, because me thinks this may be a huge part of the weight gain. I wasn’t going to get into bad habits here (it’s so damn personal), but I feel like if I say it out loud it makes it more real. The reality of it is, no more drinking wine, or gin n coke every time I throw a frying pan on the stove.

That being said, the detox phase lasts anywhere from 3 to 17 days, it’s up to me. It’s not the worst thing in the world, it’s lots of lean protein and raw veggies; lots of water of course, and 2 oranges a day. I can do this part.. this is easy. It’s shifting my way of thinking about food, and about my health that is going to be the challenge. But since I’ve done it before and was super successful the first time around, I feel confident I can do it again, and this time stick with it for life. I’m going back to the clinic on Monday to go over the results of the body test they gave me on Friday. I know I’ll qualify for the appetite suppressant drugs.. BRING IT ON! And I’ll see how the next few days of detox go and decide after Monday if I want to keep going or not. Tonight I made a spinach salad with some purple onion and mini sweet peppers, and flounder fillets with fresh garlic and ginger. AND NO WINE, AND NO GIN AND NO VODKA. It was still pretty good…